Bedtime can bring out worries that were quiet all day—especially once the lights are off and a child is left alone with their thoughts. Bedtime anxiety is common, and with the right routine and gradual steps, kids can learn to feel safe and fall asleep more independently.

If you’re trying everything to help your anxious child feel better, these five well-meaning parenting habits may be unintentionally strengthening anxiety—and here’s what to do instead.